Martha the Mom

Martha was a ferociously protective mom of her precious children, Bethany, shown here, and Jason.  Martha did not let her disability get in the way of much of anything, least of all her mothering.  She was a proud lioness of her cubs!

 Martha at my wedding. Martha was a huge cheerleader and supporter of my courtship and marriage to my husband, Jim Irvin. Here she is at our wedding in 2009.  As ever, she was my Best Lady.

Martha as god-mother to Naomi and Ruth

Not to unlike the bible stories Mary and Martha were sisters.  Martha was god-mother to both Naomi and Ruth.  Dale was Naomi's god-father.  Many many years were spent bringing in the New Year's at Martha and Dale's apartment which was in the same building as ours.  Many comments have come in from past members of Reba Place Fellowship.  "I have such sweet memories of her - including the time that she and I went camping with Bill Castle and Dale Cooper.  She and Dale were checking each other out (romance-wise, Reba-style), and Bill and I were their buddies along for the ride!" Lindy Combs.  "She was a very dear friend, and close companion when we lied together in Elgin. She taught Michael and Lisa how to read." Dave Johnson. "This is truly sad news. As you probably know, we met Martha in Elgin. the first time I ever watched cartoons was after sleeping over at her house. Unfortunately, I am 3 weeks into a new job and will not be able to attend but please pass my support on to Dale and the kids."  Michael Johnson.

When we were married in 1980 Martha spoke at our wedding.  She shared about how well she got to know Mary because they lived together in Bob Shuford's small group and how the were foster parents to Laura Anderson for two years.  She went on to say she didn't know me that well because she had never lived with me.  The church exploded with laughter.  The little things that seem so insignificant at the time become memories that we cherish forever.  Please include your own stories either in the comment section or send them to me and I will post them as your own story.  I am co-managing this blog while Linda and Jim are on vacation.  Please pray for Jim and Linda as well as close friends Ken and Judy Kalina who both will not be able to attend the funeral as they have obligations that take them away.

My Best Friend

Martha is, was and will always be my dearest friend.  She died this morning, they say, at 11 am. It's hard to believe.  She began her slow death three years ago in 2009 when she could not be weaned from a ventilator after a surgical procedure. She went from the hospital to several nursing facilities.  She was lovingly cared for at her home for two or so years with round the clock medical care. She was unable to speak  and gradually lost use of her muscles including her facial muscles.
       Can any of you who remember Martha tooling around in her wheelchair, sometimes carrying not one but two phones, imagine Martha not speaking? Because of the isolation caused by her polio, connection was Martha's middle name.  She was communication central , if not for the Western hemisphere, for a good portion of Evanston and especially a sub-culture of middle-aged ladies. Whenever, a friend like yours truly wanted a little empathy, Martha was just a phone call away.  And she would drop everything for her personal calls which could be a little annoying if you were trying to have a face to face conversation with Martha when a call came in. I remember once Martha proudly introduced me to the counselor who she was working with at the time. This is my therapist friend Linda, she announced.  Martha is my therapist friend I shot right back. Middle-aged women with friends like Martha don't need therapists.
       Martha's husband tirelessly oversaw the round the clock care in their home and looked after two teenagers.  It was a home filled with the trauma of loss and supernatural love. It was a journey of heartbreaking loss, as Martha became locked into her body.  For  a while she could communicate with a raised eyebrow, towards the end, not even her eyebrows moved.  Her beautiful face was frozen.  Martha's husband, Dale, with great wisdom decided that the round the clock medical care was unsustainable long term and with great care and prayer moved her to a nursing facility. She developed an infection after a week in the facility and was transferred to the hospital and from there to a intensive care facility closer to home in Chicago.  That is where she died this morning.  
       This blog is for remembering this powerhouse of a woman, friend, mother, and wife...for and from all who loved her.